“ကိုယ့္ကိုယ္ကိုယ္ ပ်က္စီးေစႏိုင္ေသာ အခ်က္ ၇ ခ်က္ ႏွင့္ ၄င္းအခ်က္မ်ားကို ေက်ာ္ျဖတ္ႏိုင္မယ့္ နည္းလမ္းမ်ား” (The 7 Self Sabotages And How To Overcome Them)

“ကိုယ့္ကိုယ္ကိုယ္ ပ်က္စီးေစႏိုင္ေသာ အခ်က္ ၇ ခ်က္ ႏွင့္ ၄င္းအခ်က္မ်ားကို ေက်ာ္ျဖတ္ႏိုင္မယ့္ နည္းလမ္းမ်ား”
(The 7 Self Sabotages And How To Overcome Them)

1. I don’t know what I really want
ကိုယ္လိုခ်င္တာ ဘာမွန္းမသိတာ

2. I don’t deserve it
ကိုယ့္ကိုယ္ကိုယ္ လိုခ်င္တာနဲ႕ မထိုက္တန္ဘူးထင္တာ

3. I don’t have time, money or resources.
ကိုယ့္မွာ အခ်ိန္၊ ေငြနဲ႕ လိုတဲ့ အရင္းအျမစ္ေတြ မရွိဘူးထင္တာ

4. It’s too difficult
ကိုယ္လိုခ်င္တာျဖစ္ဖို႕ အရမ္းခက္တယ္လို႕ ထင္တာ

5. I have to do it my way
ဘယ္သူ႕အႀကံဥာဏ္မွ မယူပဲ ကိုယ့္ဟာကိုယ္ပဲ လုပ္မယ္စဥ္းစားတာ

6. They don’t want me to …
ကိုယ္ျဖစ္ခ်င္တာထက္ အျခားသူေတြ ျဖစ္ခ်င္တာပဲ စဥ္းစားတာ

7. I am afraid
ဆံုးရွံဳးရမွာကို လိုတာထက္ ပိုေၾကာက္တာ
……………………………………………………………
#Naing Win Aung-Coach

Why People Happily Spend Money on Snacks, Smartphones, and Slot Machines—But Not Coaching or Therapy.

Why People Happily Spend Money on Snacks, Smartphones, and Slot Machines—But Not Coaching or Therapy.

I recently entered my 29th year of practice in the field of emotional health.

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Through the decades, I’ve seen a number of things change—hairstyles, clothing trends, music, cars, technology, and communication preferences.

One thing hasn’t changed, though.

Today—as always—many people are fine with spending hundreds of dollars every year on new clothes, toys, gadgets, beauty products, concert tickets, slot machines, or the latest, greatest, most high-definition TV set on the market (there’s always a new one, without fail!), but many people are still very reluctant to spend money on life coaching, therapy, counseling, and other forms of “self-investment” and “personal development.”

How come?

After all, people want to be happy. People want to reach their goals. People want to fight less, worry less, stress less, and enjoy more peace and satisfaction at home, at work, and in their relationships. Hiring a coach or therapist can help with all of those goals—and so many others. So, why are so many people so reluctant to “invest”?

I have a few theories.

: Often, people don’t want to face their feelings.

This is unfortunate, but also completely understandable. If you are grieving a divorce or break up, for example, it’s much “easier” to go and buy a new outfit than it is to describe your shame, fear, and anxiety to a total stranger. Some people worry that if they “dive in” to whatever they’re feeling, it will “unleash” something dangerous and unmanageable. Clients have said to me, “If I start crying, I don’t think I will ever be able to stop.” This fear can inhibit people from seeking help. They just don’t want to “go there.”

: People crave a “quick fix.”

Therapy and coaching are both powerful processes—but rarely do either work “overnight.” Both require the client to show up and “do the work”—often for many days, weeks, or months. Typically, there’s no “miracle balm” when it comes to emotional wellbeing. From a consumer’s standpoint, commitment and dedication to emotional healing where results are not necessarily immediate, might not sound as tantalizing as a new TV set that can be shipped to your door in 2 days or less.

People tend to crave a “quick fix.” That’s not something that good therapy or coaching can promise.

: People feel that investing in happiness is “frivolous.”

Some people learn, at an early age, that pursuing happiness is “frivolous” or even “selfish.” These lessons can be deeply ingrained.

I’ve heard many people say things like, “I don’t deserve to spend money on this [retreat / service / program / etc]. It’s frivolous.” Yet that same person might spend hundreds of dollars on a concert ticket or a slot machine in Las Vegas—something that provides an “instant but fleeting” sense of enjoyment. Strange, right? For some reason, in our culture, investing in “entertainment” is fine—but personal growth and healing, less so.

: People feel ashamed to seek help.

Many people are ashamed of having “problems.” Too ashamed to seek help. I often hear things like, “I am a medical doctor, I should have my sh*t together…” or “I’m an adult, not a kid, I shouldn’t be struggling with this anymore…” or “I’m the CEO of a company, I manage a lot of people, I have a PhD, so I should be able to figure out how to stop overeating on my own!”

The truth is that everybody—no matter how mature, seasoned, skilled, or educated—needs help from time to time. But investing in “help” can be emotionally tricky for many people. Some people feel that seeking help means they are “weak” or “dumb” or “lazy,” or “a failure” (none of which are true). But, unfortunately, these and other social stigmas associated with therapy and coaching, deter some people from reaching out for help.

: People don’t believe it will “work.”

Above all else, this is the unspoken barrier for many people. A man or woman might visit my website—or someone else’s—and think, “Well, sure, that all sounds great… but will coaching actually work for me? Will I reach my goals? Is it guaranteed? How can I be sure I’ll get my money’s worth?”

When you order a gadget on Amazon, you can be 100% certain that you’ll receive your product—or your money back. When you order a slice of cheesecake from your favorite bakery, you can be close to 100% certain that it will be delicious and that it will (temporarily) make you feel happy.

When you invest in therapy or coaching, on the other hand, there’s much less “certainty” about the “results” you’ll get. Because you’re not buying a snack or a product, you’re investing in an interdependent process, and in order for the process to “work,” you have to show up and do your part just as much as the specialist that you’ve hired to help you. Investing in personal growth can feel far more complex, nuanced, and less “certain” than just buying “stuff.”

If you want to change your life, and you’re curious about therapy or coaching, but feel hesitant, what can you learn from all of this?

Take a moment to self-reflect—on the fears, doubts, and the stigmas or biases that might be fueling your reluctance. Think about what is holding you back, and why.

If money is a concern, consider the “cost” of doing nothing. Where will you be, two or three years from now, if you continue to repeat the same patterns that are making you unhappy, today? What’s the “cost” of inaction? What’s the “cost” of remaining stuck? The cost may be very high, indeed.

Do you need to adjust your attitude about investing in your happiness, health, and wellbeing? Can you really put a price-tag on your inner peace and happiness? Can you put a price-tag your family’s wellbeing? What is your health “worth” to you? Hopefully, quite a lot.

There’s nothing “wrong” with treating yourself to beautiful things and experiences. By all means—savor a beautiful meal at your favorite restaurant, enjoy your summer vacation by the lake, grab a new book at the shop, and treat yourself to a fabulous haircut. Just remember: as delicious as those things are, they are fleeting experiences. The transformation that you can create through therapy or coaching, on the other hand, can last a lifetime.

There is no investment that offers a greater return than your investment in yourself.

Dr. Suzanne Gelb is a clinical psychologist and professional life coach.

She believes that it is never too late to become the person you want to be. Strong. Confident. Calm. Creative. Free of all of the burdens that have held you back — no matter what has happened in the past.

Her insights on personal growth have been featured on more than 200 radio programs, 200 TV interviews and online at Time, Forbes, Newsweek, NBC’s Today, The Daily Love, MindBodyGreen, and much more.

Step into her virtual office at DrSuzanneGelb.com, explore her blog, book a coaching session, or sign up to receive a free meditation and her bi-weekly writings on health, happiness and self-respect.

Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional or psychological advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always contact your physician or other health provider before beginning any new personal growth or health practice and about any questions you may have about your well-being.

စိတ္ပညာစာအုပ္

စိတ္ပညာပိုင္းဆိုင္ရာ စိတ္ဝင္စားသူမ်ားအတြက္ ေလ့လာသင့္ေသာ စာအုပ္ေကာင္း တစ္လက္ပါ။ ေအာက္မွာ Download link ခ်ေပးထားတယ္
https://www.dropbox.com/s/a5zb91nmrd779mj/%E1%80%85%E1%80%AD%E1%80%90%E1%80%B9%E1%80
image

ေဒၚေအာင္ဆန္းစုၾကည္၏အခ်စ္ဦး

ေဒၚေအာင္ဆန္းစုၾကည္၏အခ်စ္ဦး
Oxford ေက်ာင္းသူ ဘဝ အပ်ိဳဖ်န္းမေလး မစုၾကည္ ဘဝ အား ပထမဆံုး သိမ္းပိုက္ခဲ့သူမွာ တဲရစ္ အိုစမာ ဟိုင္ဒါ ျဖစ္သည္။ ဤကဲ့သို႔ေသာ ေဖ်ာက္ဖ်က္မရသည့္ သမိုင္းေၾကာင္းအား Wikipedia တြင္ ယခင္က ေဖာ္ျပထားေသာ္လည္း ယခုအခါ ေဒၚေအာင္ဆန္းစုၾကည္၏ သမိုင္းမွန္ကို မေဖာ္ျပဝံ့သျဖင့္ ဖ်က္ခဲ့ၾကသည္
The tribune (http://adf.ly/1ZDgnr ဤlink တြင္ ဖတ္ရႈနိုင္ပါသည္) ၏ေဖာ္ျပခ်က္မွာ –

She studied in the Convent of Jesus and Mary School, New Delhi and graduated from Lady Shri Ram College in New Delhi with a degree in politics in 1964.  Suu Kyi continued her education at St Hugh’s College, Oxford, obtaining a B.A. degree in Philosophy, Politics and Economics in 1969.
  According to a classmate, Suu Kyi fell in love with Tariq Hyder, a Pakistani student, during her second year in Oxford.   Their relationship was not well received by her circle of friends and it soon ended .

ဟူ၍ ေရးသားထားသည္။

အျပည့္အစံုမွာ

As one of Burma’s most marriageable young women, beautiful and with a famous name, if not at all rich, there was expectation on these return visits that a suitable young Burmese man could be found for her. We know of a couple of these attempted matchmaking efforts, which came to nothing. Suu was turning out to be her own person, and not only in the matter of her looks. She fell in love for the first time at Oxford, with a Pakistani student called Tariq Hyder, who went on to become a senior Pakistani diplomat, recently retired. Some Indian friends of Suu’s disliked him and disapproved of their going out together. Whether or not he was, as one of them put it, a ‘sleaze-ball,’ there was no doubt that it would have been a very challenging match, in both Burma and Pakistan. In the end he lost interest and turned her down, but the relationship, or at least her hopes for it, outlasted her university career.

Mr Hyder, who in his retirement is a frequent commentator in the Pakistani press, refused to talk to me for the book. It’s hard to see how the relationship could ever have flourished, given the cultural and religious differences of their respective countries. But then Suu was a woman in love, with all the tenderness and optimism of youth. What is interesting to me about this episode is the proof it gives of her willpower and her independence of mind. Holding out for Mr Hyder alienated her Indian friends at Oxford and would have infuriated her mother, but Suu went her own way.

The man she eventually did marry, Michael Aris, was barely more satisfactory for her mother. In a letter to Michael’s twin brother Anthony before the marriage, she mentions her family’s failure to give their blessing to it. But she gives every indication of not minding much. Quote: ‘I’m sure my mother and brother will get over their initial disappointment,’ she wrote, ‘at what they probably consider my usual waywardness.’ That’s a phrase that struck me – ‘my usual waywardness’ – because waywardness is not a concept we associate with Aung San Suu Kyi. And yet if we consider her record at Oxford and beyond we can see why it is applicable and why she would have used it light-heartedly about herself. While at Oxford she twice tried to change her degree from PPE, once to English and once, curiously, to Forestry, both times without success. She graduated with a miserable third, not because she was not intelligent, but because as was clear from her requests to change subject, the course did not really engage her. 

ငယ္ရြယ္၊ လွပျပီး ေက်ာ္ၾကားတဲ့နာမည္တစ္ခုပိုင္ရွင္ သူမအတြက္ သင့္ေတာ္တဲ့ ျမန္မာ အမ်ိဳးသား တစ္ေယာက္ ကို သူမရဲ႔ ျမန္မာႏိုင္ငံ အျပန္ခရီးေတြမွာ ေတြ႕ေလာက္ေကာင္းပါရဲ႕လို႔ ေမွ်ာ္လင့္စရာပါပဲ။ ကၽြန္ေတာ္ တုိ႔ ေမွ်ာ္လင့္ခဲ့သလို မျဖစ္လာခဲ့ပါဘူး။ စုဟာ သူမစိတ္ထင္ရာကို ကိုယ္ပိုင္ဆံုးျဖတ္ခ်က္နဲ႔ လုပ္ခဲ့ တဲ့ အမ်ိဳးသမီးတစ္ေယာက္ပါ။ သူမဟာ ေအာက္စဖို႔ဒ္ တကၠသိုလ္မွာ မၾကာေသးခင္က အျငိမ္းစား ယူသြား တဲ့ Tariq Hyder လို႔ေခၚတဲ့ ပါကစၥတန္သားတစ္ဦးနဲ႔ ပထမဆံုး ခ်စ္ၾကိဳက္ခဲ့ပါတယ္။ စုရဲ႕ အခ်ိဳ ႔အိႏၵိယ သူငယ္ခ်င္းေတြ ဟာ သူနဲ႔ခ်စ္ၾကိဳက္တာကို မၾကိဳက္ၾကသလို သူနဲ႔အျပင္ကို ေလွ်ာက္သြားတာကိုလည္း ခြင့္ မျပဳခဲ့ၾက ပါဘူး။

သူတို႔ ဘယ္လိုပဲ သေဘာတူတူ မတူတူ ဒီကိစၥဟာေတာ့ ျမန္မာနဲ႔ ပါကစၥတန္ တို႔အတြက္ အင္မတန္ ရင္ ဆိုင္ ရ ခက္ခဲ့မယ့္ အေျခအေန တစ္ခုျဖစ္သလို ပါကစၥတန္ႏိုင္ငံ သား တစ္ဦးျဖစ္တဲ့ သူ႔အတြက္လည္း စိန္ေခၚမႈေတြ ရွိေနတာပါပဲ။ ေနာက္ဆံုးမွာေတာ့ သူဟာ သူမ အေပၚမွာ စိတ္မ၀င္စားေတာ့သလို သူမကို လည္း ေရွာင္ခြာခဲ့ ပါတယ္။ သို႔ေသာ္လည္း သူမ တကၠသိုလ္ တက္စဥ္ တစ္ေလွ်ာက္ေတာ့ သူတို႔ ခ်စ္ခရီး လမ္း တည္တံ့ခဲ့ ပါေသးတယ္။

ပါကစၥတန္သတင္းစာရဲ႕ frequent commentator အျဖစ္က အနားယူခဲ့တဲ့ Mr Hyder ဟာ ဒီအေၾကာ င္းေ တြ အတြက္ ေျဖေပးဖုိ႔ကိုေတာ့ ျငင္းဆန္ခဲ့ပါတယ္။ ႏိုင္ငံမတူတာ၊ ယဥ္ေက်းမႈ မတူတာ၊ ကိုးကြယ္တဲ့ ဘာ သာေတြ မတူတာေတြနဲ႔ သူတို႔ႏွစ္ဦးရဲ႕ ဆက္ဆံေရး ဘယ္လိုဆက္လက္တည္ျမဲေနမလဲဆိုတာ သိဖုိ႔ ခက္ခဲ လြန္းပါတယ္။ ဒါေပမယ့္လည္း စုဟာ လူငယ္တစ္ေယာက္ရဲ႕ လူငယ္ဆန္တဲ့ အျမင္ေတြ၊ ၾကင္နာစိတ္ေတြနဲ႔ အခ်စ္ စိတ္ေတြ ၀င္ေနခဲ့ပါျပီ။ ဒီအပိုင္းမွာ ကၽြန္ေတာ့္အတြက္ စိတ္၀င္စားမိတာက သူမရဲ႕ လြတ္လပ္တဲ့ စိတ္ အေတြးကိုပါပဲ။ ေအာက္စဖို႔ဒ္မွာ သူငယ္ခ်င္းေတြက Mr Hyder နဲ႔ပတ္သက္လို႔ ေရွာင္ဖယ္ၾကတဲ့အျပင္ မိခင္ျဖစ္ သူရဲ႕ ေဒါသေတြကို ရင္ဆိုင္ျပီး သူမဆႏၵအတိုင္း လုပ္ေဆာင္ခဲ့ပါတယ္။

(ဒီေနရာမွာ သူမတို႔ လမ္းခြဲခဲ့ၾကပံုကိုေတာ့ ၀ီကီပီဒီယာ အြန္လိုင္းစြယ္စံုက်မ္း မွာ ဒီလို ေရးထားပါတယ္။ Suu Kyi fell in love with Tariq Hyder, a Pakistani student, during her second year in Oxford.[29] Their relationship was not well received by her circle of friends and it soon ended. အခ်ိဳ႕သတင္းမ်ားမွာေတာ့ Mrs Aris Aung San Suu Kyi fell in love with a Pakistani, but the relationship that ended in tears ဆိုျပီး မ်က္ရည္ေတြနဲ႔ အဆံုးသတ္ခဲ့ရတယ္လို႔ ေဖာ္ျပၾကပါတယ္။

ေဖာ္ျပပါ ဓာတ္ပံုမ်ားသည္ ေဒၚေအာင္ဆန္းစုၾကည္ ႏွင့္ ပါကစၥတန္ သား အိုစမာ ဟိုင္ဒါ တို႔ ခ်စ္ႀကိဳက္ခဲ့စဥ္က ဓာတ္ပံုမ်ားျဖစ္သည္။ ဤဓာတ္ပံုမ်ားအား မည္သူမွ် ဗြီနုိင္းထုတ္၍ မခ်ိတ္ဆြဲ ရဲၾကပါ။ အိုစမာ ဟိုင္ဒါ သည္ မြတ္ဆလင္ အစြန္းေရာက္သူတစ္ဦးျဖစ္သည္။ ၎ ၏ ေဆာင္းပါးမ်ားကို http://adf.ly/1ZDhA4 တြင္ ဖတ္နုိင္သည္။

ယေန႔ လက္ရွိ ေဒၚေအာင္ဆန္းစုၾကည္ ၎၏ ငယ္ဘဝ အား လြန္စြာ တမ္းတ သူငယ္ျပန္လွ်က္ရွိေၾကာင္းအား ၎၏ ျပည္ပခရီးစဥ္မ်ားမွ သက္ေသျပလွ်က္ရွိသည္။ သူမေနထိုင္ခဲ့ဖူးသည့္ ေနရာအားလံုးသို႔ သြားခဲ့ၿပီး ငယ္စဥ္က အေပါင္းအသင္းအားလံုး ႏွင့္ ေတြ႔ခဲ့သည္။ လန္ဒန္၊ ေအာက္စဖို႔၊ အိႏိၵယ၊ ဂ်ပန္ နုိင္ငံရွိ ငယ္ေဖာ္ မ်ားအားလံုး ႏွင့္ ေတြ႔ဆံုခဲ့ၿပီးျဖစ္သည္။ ၿပီးခဲ့သည့္ ဥေရာပ ခရီးစဥ္တြင္ လန္ဒန္၌ ၅ ရက္ၾကာေနထိုင္ခဲ့ၿပီး အိုစမာ ဟိုင္ဒါ ႏွင့္လည္း ေတြ႔ဆံုခဲ့သည္။ ယခုထိလည္း ဖုန္းအဆက္အသြယ္ရွိေနသည္။

အပ်ိဳဖ်န္းဘဝ က အိုစမာ ဟိုင္ဒါ မွ ဘာေကၽြး၍  စည္းရံုးလိုက္သည္ မသိ ယခု အသက္ ၆၇ ႏွစ္အရြယ္ေရာက္ခ်ိန္တြင္ ကုလား ကို ကုလား ဟု မေခၚနုိင္ေၾကာင္း ေဒၚစု တရားဝင္ထုတ္ေဖာ္ေျပာဆိုခဲ့သည္။ သမၼတျဖစ္ေရး စည္းရံုးမႈ ကာလတြင္ေတာင္ ကုလားကို ကုလားဟု မေခၚနုိင္ေၾကာင္း ေျပာဆိုလွ်က္ရွိရာ ၂၀၁၅ သမၼတျဖစ္ၿပီးေနာက္ ကုလားမ်ားကို ေခါင္းေပၚတင္ထားလိမ့္မည္။ အစၥလမ္ဘာသာကို ေက်ာင္းသင္ခန္းစာတြင္ သင္ၾကားလိမ့္မည္။ ပါကစၥတန္ ႏွင့္ အႏိၵယမွ ေဆြမ်ိဳးမကင္း ငယ္ေဖာ္ မ်ားအား အျပင္ ၿဗိတိန္မွ ရိုဟင္ဂ်ာအေရး လႈပ္ရွားသူ မ်ားႏွင့္ ရိုဟင္ဂ်ာ မီဒီယ ဘီဘီစီ တို႔အား နုိင္ငံတြင္းသို႔ သြင္းကာ အခြင့္ထူးေပးလိမ့္မည္။
မူရင္းလင့္..  http://adf.ly/1ZDhVf